home.

So I think somewhere between my last blog post and now - its honestly been a gigantic haze, I went back in the hospital, twice? Then I crawled my way out more mentally broken than I really thought was feasible. So, naturally, I called mom and after a long blubbering conversation - decided I needed to go home to Virginia to wait out the last of this no eating/being hooked up to parental nutrition/having too many tubes to count hanging out of my body draining scary horrid things/ part of the illness.

The good news is I feel like a normal person again. I'm still tube laden, but I had one egg today, and mom made me pretend chicken soup, and it was better than 99% of the past month of my life. Eating *is* amazing, even if I'm not really supposed to yet.

Mom and I skipped all of our work today (I have two papers yet to write for school) and pulled out all of her old pictures from her childhood up through mine, the ones hidden away in a closet having not been touched in maybe a decade or two. So the day has really been kind of wonderful. Hours of sitting on the cold floor, freezing, ass hurting, spine hurting, starving - the most fantastic minutes of my life since being able to eat an egg this morning.

Favorites:
my older sister and me


the rare pictures a of me as a baby when I didn't look asian/laden with brain tumor/like the gerber baby


my older sister begged my mom to make a snowman when 1/2 an inch of snow fell. So they made a tiny snowman, adorned him in doll clothes, and saved him in the freezer forever.
older sister again, and not much has changed.



I reiterate.



my mom was a babe.


I am *so* happy to be home. I don't know if I have enjoyed/appreciated it to this extent - maybe ever. I think this needed to happen for more reasons than I will ever be able to surmise.

Mom is angry with me because I am blogging and not working on my paper, I can't handle one more dirty look and big sigh.

She did after all, let me eat an egg.

Back to the land of pubmed scouring and sentence rewriting.