Why I have a lot of pimples on my forehead where there are usually none:
-Ive narrowed down my headaches to Ambien use. Rubbing my head while its hurting does nothing to alleviate the pain but it feels useful.
-Self diagnosing persistent fevers by touching my forehead with the palm of my hand, the back of my hand, my wrist, if someone is near I ask for their second opinion with their hands - - not that my forehead ever feels hot to me, but it seems like a necessary prerequisite to taking my temperature and eating motrin like m&m's.
-Sitting on my ass for the past two weeks waiting to miraculously look and feel like a normal person - and fretting/stressing/whining that I still look and feel like a 1 week post mortem starvation victim. This causes a lot of stress induced forehead rubbing.
-Having my bf repeatedly ask me if I was recently in a knife fight, how I made out in my recent fist fight, and maybe I should stay out of dark dangerous alleys - due to illustrious pimple holes on my forehead that, apparently, resemble gigantic, violent, fight induced wounds. I then naturally feel the need to self consciously touch all of my pimples, because finger probing is an appropriate measure of pimple severity, even though I just looked in the mirror 5 min prior to assess said damage. Then I stress out and rub my forehead because not only am I really pale with gigantic undereye circles, but I also look like a leper. A starving one.
-I honestly really hate this 25 notes b.s. circulating on fb because I'm incapable of not reading everyone's kooky narcissistic self-commentary b/c IM BORED OUT OF MY MIND. (Certainly not a parallel to my blog here at all). I read them immediately upon their arrival on my newsfeed. I rub my forehead out of sheer stress that I just subjected myself to another 3 minutes of lifewaste.
-I haven't done my laundry in over two weeks and am wearing the last of the last. Stressful headrubbing ensues after every shower, as I stare into my dresser drawers, wondering how the cats are going to treat me if I pair nine year old plaid pj pants with a tie dye shirt and striped rainbow socks.
Okay, I can drag this list out forever, seeing as I have mammoth swaths of time on my hands, but I need to check facebook to see if anyone else posted 25 notes. I MUST KNOW HOW MANY PETS YOU HAD AS A CHILD. and I need to stare at the wall some more. and wait around for this day to be over so maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and look and feel a little more normal. I'm also horribly nauseous, that is to say I can literally feel my stomach throwing grappling hooks into my esophagus as a means to escape out of my mouth - so I need to lay down to thwart operation gut escape, and I can't really type from that angle.
I rubbed my head 11 different times during the writing of this post alone. I need to find a different means of physically expressing my stress. Like eating more than a meal a day regardless of how violently queasy it makes me, because dropping all this weight in the course of two weeks is terrifying, and naturally, it makes me rub my head.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
ive arrived
I report to you from the official scene of yuppie.
In a coffeeshop, in a corner - judging all other fellow coffee shop inhabitants, in a fucking pullover and yoga pants, drinking fiji water and sipping kenya aa coffee, with my macbook, blogging, while attempting to read my physiology textbook, listening to some yuppie indie shit on itunes, making plans to buy camp bisco tickets.
god im not even embarrassed.
I am however, a little embarrassed (maybe mortified) for this girls skirt/boots combo standing in front of me.
In a coffeeshop, in a corner - judging all other fellow coffee shop inhabitants, in a fucking pullover and yoga pants, drinking fiji water and sipping kenya aa coffee, with my macbook, blogging, while attempting to read my physiology textbook, listening to some yuppie indie shit on itunes, making plans to buy camp bisco tickets.
god im not even embarrassed.
I am however, a little embarrassed (maybe mortified) for this girls skirt/boots combo standing in front of me.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
he giveth and taketh away, or something. or i just ate like 927 mgs of oxycodone.
losses:
1) insomnia
2) half of my medical bills (tthhaaannkks mom)
3) my crappy ass half working laptop
4) 1 foot of small bowel
5) a terrifying old abdominal incision
gains:
1) a prescription for ambien (zing!)
2) a $1600 charge to my credit card bill (see 3)
3) A 250 GIG HARDRIVE MACBOOK 2.4 GHZ WITH 2 GIGS OF MEMORY. (and some free printer/copier/scanner - something - its downstairs so fuzzy details)
4) a new lease on life
5) a really small neat abdominal incision that you can't fit 16 pencils, 5 pens, and 3 hot dogs in
1) insomnia
2) half of my medical bills (tthhaaannkks mom)
3) my crappy ass half working laptop
4) 1 foot of small bowel
5) a terrifying old abdominal incision
gains:
1) a prescription for ambien (zing!)
2) a $1600 charge to my credit card bill (see 3)
3) A 250 GIG HARDRIVE MACBOOK 2.4 GHZ WITH 2 GIGS OF MEMORY. (and some free printer/copier/scanner - something - its downstairs so fuzzy details)
4) a new lease on life
5) a really small neat abdominal incision that you can't fit 16 pencils, 5 pens, and 3 hot dogs in
Friday, January 16, 2009
reward: missing balls - made of steel
I'm terrified of the fact that its only going to be a high of 26 today. I am huddled in a ball wearing most of my pajama collection to stave off imminent hypothermia, sipping hot coffee, and close to tears at the thought of catching the 7:55 bus.
The punchline being that I just endured three winters in Massachusetts - where a high of 26 was considered warm - warm enough for me not to park illegally in front of the school that is. (Nothing was worse than traversing that mammoth parking lot with subzero temps.) I seem to have some vague recollection of biking as long as it was 30 out - and nonchalantly bitching about finding my scarf if it was going to be below the teens. And honestly, in Massachusetts - it stays this cold for a good 10 months out of the year or something ridiculous.
I guess I won't be wearing my standard of flip flops/tank top/ light hoodie today. I guess I'll have to rummage around to actually find something long sleeved, preferably with wool/thinsulate/goose down/maybe both cats - and accessorize by pasting those self heating hot hands all over my torso. I must have left my sack of steel up north when I moved - I am now. officially. lame. And also, I super love this otherwise warm NC weather.
The punchline being that I just endured three winters in Massachusetts - where a high of 26 was considered warm - warm enough for me not to park illegally in front of the school that is. (Nothing was worse than traversing that mammoth parking lot with subzero temps.) I seem to have some vague recollection of biking as long as it was 30 out - and nonchalantly bitching about finding my scarf if it was going to be below the teens. And honestly, in Massachusetts - it stays this cold for a good 10 months out of the year or something ridiculous.
I guess I won't be wearing my standard of flip flops/tank top/ light hoodie today. I guess I'll have to rummage around to actually find something long sleeved, preferably with wool/thinsulate/goose down/maybe both cats - and accessorize by pasting those self heating hot hands all over my torso. I must have left my sack of steel up north when I moved - I am now. officially. lame. And also, I super love this otherwise warm NC weather.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
free advice part 6 (i think)
If you received a sonicare toothbrush for christmas from your parents, and the following conditions hold true:
a) you don't like to clean your bathroom mirror on a daily basis
b) you find toothpaste spit in your hair unbecoming
c) you find toothpaste spit in your eyes to be even less appealing
d) brushing your teeth with more skill then a five year old is a barometer of your integrity
Then - I would suggest not turning the device on until it is planted safely inside your mouth, with your lips firmly closing your around the neck of the toothbrush, with all your might (white bloodless lips are almost essential at this point) and maintaining this stance for the duration of brushing, at all times. no kidding, all times. I mean - if you even think of parting your lips for the briefest of moments - prepare to splatter your bathroom vanity, mirror, yourself, the cat that terminally lives in your sink, your neighbor will wonder why snow is falling by their windows, and yes - it gets in your eyes. Also, your roommate will inevitably choose that time to walk by and witness your whirlwind toothpaste cat 5 hurricane, and might attempt to treat what she believes to be - an epileptic fit.
Only when your sonicare toothbrush has finished its 2 minute brushathon and has ceased its vibrating mayhem of savagery - should you very, very, carefully - remove this very phenomenal cleaning device from your mouth - rinse it lovingly - retire it to it's charging haven - fall to your knees - and pay homage to the most powerful piece of vibrating equipment you will ever own, that didn't come from a shop with barred windows.
p.s. I <3 my new sonicare.
a) you don't like to clean your bathroom mirror on a daily basis
b) you find toothpaste spit in your hair unbecoming
c) you find toothpaste spit in your eyes to be even less appealing
d) brushing your teeth with more skill then a five year old is a barometer of your integrity
Then - I would suggest not turning the device on until it is planted safely inside your mouth, with your lips firmly closing your around the neck of the toothbrush, with all your might (white bloodless lips are almost essential at this point) and maintaining this stance for the duration of brushing, at all times. no kidding, all times. I mean - if you even think of parting your lips for the briefest of moments - prepare to splatter your bathroom vanity, mirror, yourself, the cat that terminally lives in your sink, your neighbor will wonder why snow is falling by their windows, and yes - it gets in your eyes. Also, your roommate will inevitably choose that time to walk by and witness your whirlwind toothpaste cat 5 hurricane, and might attempt to treat what she believes to be - an epileptic fit.
Only when your sonicare toothbrush has finished its 2 minute brushathon and has ceased its vibrating mayhem of savagery - should you very, very, carefully - remove this very phenomenal cleaning device from your mouth - rinse it lovingly - retire it to it's charging haven - fall to your knees - and pay homage to the most powerful piece of vibrating equipment you will ever own, that didn't come from a shop with barred windows.
p.s. I <3 my new sonicare.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I could consider that whole, resolution business - but that would be admitting I don't love this lifestyle.
the new year thus far:
-left essential medication at home. begged mom to overnight it on tuesday, the 30th. it won't be here til tomorrow at the earliest, Monday, the 5th.
-procured a hangover worthy of matching my Halloween hangover. That is to say I spent most of the first day this year whining about being on the cusp of passing out/vomiting/mind blowing headache/dehydration/imminent death. Also, NYE was a blast and the hangover was totally worth it.
-thusly detagged about 173 pictures on facebook.
- after removing approximately 97 lbs. of trash from my car (consisting mostly of empty red bulls, v8 cans, diet pepsi max bottles) I found someone's car keys, still unclaimed (GM car keys anyone?). My car still looks and smells like an alley from a bad part of NYC.
-ate more cookies then I probably have in all of 2008 put together. I am really not being sarcastic on this one. dead serious.
-realized I scheduled a lab meeting for my previous rotation (that I failed to give during my rotation) on top of the first class on the first day of the semester, I am befuddled at my lack of blatant organizational skills. no, wait, I'm totally not.
- broke my bike. like, have to take it to the shop for repairs kind of broke my bike. After my big christmas present this year was my dad totally revamping and repairing my bike with all new parts.
- thought I killed my roommate's cat.
- reset my internal clock by going to bed after 3 am every single night/morning. Certainly this won't exacerbate already persistent insomnia.
-subsequently, I woke up at 1 pm today - drank a red bull at 3pm in preparation for a 2 hour bike ride (and of course made it 7 miles before I broke my pedal). Oh weird, I'm blogging at midnight and feel capable of running back to back marathons.
-So, yes, blogging. Instead of my original intention of reading papers for my rotation that starts tomorrow.
-that I said I would arrive for at 9am.
-but won't go until 10am because my P.I. said she wasn't getting in until 10:30 am.
-sigh.
-2009: perpetuation of picking up very avoidable messes, piecemeal, organization is for the birds.
-happy new year.
-left essential medication at home. begged mom to overnight it on tuesday, the 30th. it won't be here til tomorrow at the earliest, Monday, the 5th.
-procured a hangover worthy of matching my Halloween hangover. That is to say I spent most of the first day this year whining about being on the cusp of passing out/vomiting/mind blowing headache/dehydration/imminent death. Also, NYE was a blast and the hangover was totally worth it.
-thusly detagged about 173 pictures on facebook.
- after removing approximately 97 lbs. of trash from my car (consisting mostly of empty red bulls, v8 cans, diet pepsi max bottles) I found someone's car keys, still unclaimed (GM car keys anyone?). My car still looks and smells like an alley from a bad part of NYC.
-ate more cookies then I probably have in all of 2008 put together. I am really not being sarcastic on this one. dead serious.
-realized I scheduled a lab meeting for my previous rotation (that I failed to give during my rotation) on top of the first class on the first day of the semester, I am befuddled at my lack of blatant organizational skills. no, wait, I'm totally not.
- broke my bike. like, have to take it to the shop for repairs kind of broke my bike. After my big christmas present this year was my dad totally revamping and repairing my bike with all new parts.
- thought I killed my roommate's cat.
- reset my internal clock by going to bed after 3 am every single night/morning. Certainly this won't exacerbate already persistent insomnia.
-subsequently, I woke up at 1 pm today - drank a red bull at 3pm in preparation for a 2 hour bike ride (and of course made it 7 miles before I broke my pedal). Oh weird, I'm blogging at midnight and feel capable of running back to back marathons.
-So, yes, blogging. Instead of my original intention of reading papers for my rotation that starts tomorrow.
-that I said I would arrive for at 9am.
-but won't go until 10am because my P.I. said she wasn't getting in until 10:30 am.
-sigh.
-2009: perpetuation of picking up very avoidable messes, piecemeal, organization is for the birds.
-happy new year.
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