phlebotomy gone bad

This looked way more impressive yesterday, however, I wasn't struggling to finish a take home yesterday, therefore no procrastination was necessary.

Thanks lady, for practicing your cross-stitching skills in my veins.

sabrina <3

"it's been an interesting few weeks. how's shit by you? tell me all about why you hate everyone and i will agree that they are all wrong and you're infallible. then i will describe in great detail how i might tie down their moms with barbed wire and piss on them, and then light them on fire. would that help? rest assured, i will find their moms. nobody's safe from my yellow stream of justice.

xoxo
sabs"

CRAP sabrina, you should move to NC. now i said. =(

faux eclecticism

At the end of yesterday I was impressed with the social gamut I managed to cover in a mere 12 hours- but then, as my hand was in the process of reaching for my back in pursuit of a firm well-deserved pat - I put my feet back on the ground and realized this spectrum of avocations I felt so inclined to be proud of, were meagerly deserved at best.

pothead: went to a head shop - spent an hour in a heady discussion with the store clerk on the pros and cons of bubblers, bowls, vaporizers and the different strata of pothead that utilizes such paraphernalia. Then purchased a bubbler for a friend's birthday.

meathead: proceeded to GNC - spent some time talking with the store clerk on the pros and cons of various protein and energy supplements, talked extensively about cycling and lifting. Then I purchased a protein blend I'm just okay on, since my standard was not in stock.

political enthusiast: voted - spoke to no one, purchased nothing, received a coupon for a free coffee at my local bakery. felt particularly empowered and proud for being a good American. went to a party celebrating the election.

altruist to the homeless: while passing a gaunt aged man on the street, huddled in an alcove, was asked for any spare change. I paused to give him every last coin I could procure out of my purse (a 3 minute search at best) - and also I gave him a clove for good measure.

scientist: went to lab - Discussed at length the pros and cons of various substrates employed im my (desperate) desire to make things work. Purchased HPTS (8-hydroxypyrene-1,3,6-trisulfonic acid), a pH dependent flourophore for my very own pet project that I am building from the ground up.

The punch line:

pothead: I don't smoke pot, haven't purchased a piece in ages, tried my best to regurgitate phrases I haven't used in years.

meathead: I know a limited amount of anything dealing with supplements, but this guy seemed impressed I was aware of the basics so our conversation was mostly over my head. I tried my best to regurgitate phrases I may or may not have heard other exercise savvy friends toss about.

political enthusiast: I voted. the end. I normally hate politics and avoid them thusly, this year was an obvious exception. after 3 hours of sleep that coffee saved my life.

altruist to the homeless:I never give bums money, donating to shelters maybe, rarely will I give hobos a sideways glance. But, seeing as I veritably lied my ass off to some kind old attendant when parking in a lot - where UNC affiliates are absolutely not allowed to park - I needed karma on my side. I left the lot ticket free.

scientist: who has two thumbs and knows her lab shit? this girl right here.

advisement

If you happen to accidentally scare the everloving piss out of me - and subsequently you decide its a good idea to laugh at me, and hard I might add - because I did a little dance in place, and maybe I screamed, just a little bit....

well, you should probably consider running, at full speed, in the opposite direction

because that shit was decidedly the most un-funny thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

seperation anxiety

It was any other glorious day with my phone, running through fields of daffodils, constructing decoupage photo albums as we waited for our bunt cake to finish, and then retiring to the porch to share lemonade and tales of our childhood. While perusing facebook snuggled up in our favorite rocker, our most cherished pastime I might add, my little phone,

my
dear
poor
little
phone
passed away
in my hands

clutching my hair in my fists and screaming enraged to the heavens - I demanded God to tell me why he would take my phone at such a young and tender age. Why now!? WHY HALLOWEEN NIGHT OF ALL TIMES GOD. I worked hard to resuscitate my little love, but there was no hope, all I really had left to do was call T-mobile to handle the remains and begin the process of moving on. So many times between the passing away of my phone and now I have gone to snap an impromptu picture, jot a quick text, check facebook - all which unmercifully rips the scab off of my battered and broken heart upon recalling there *is* no phone to speak of, anymore.

I stopped at the T-mobile store today to purchase the cheapest replacement phone to tide me over until a proper replica of my old phone was delivered to me. My replacement and thank god temporary new phone will never ever fill the shoes of that which was all dear and sacred to me.




The customer service department at T-mobile handled my delicate situation with the utmost gentle and respectful nature. I was told I would have a new phone free of charge shipped to me in the next seven business days (7 days way to fucking long with the aforementioned replacement phone from hell). I was instructed to gut the contents of my phone in preparation for returning its now silent and still body to phone heaven, where it will undoubtedly rest in peace forever.

The gutting however, lead to the pleasing discovery of the cutest little 1 gig card ever!


There is only one thing really I can do now, (who can possibly complete a take home test in stressful times like these I ask?) is put on Sarah Mclaughlin and reflect on our fulfilling and harmonious relationship. Recalling the euphonious chortling of incoming texts, the patience of learning T9 together, my phone was the best little mp3 player ever, and I'll never forget our sneaky voyeuristic endeavors with my favorite little camera. Yes, my phone did it all. I will be preparing a eulogy and candle lit services for later. If you can't make it, at the least, please send me your phone number - as my phone took these memories to the beyond.

I willlll remember yoooouu

*tear

[(in)sanity disclaimer - I was on hold with t-mobile for the majority of this post - hence my paper craft and photography exposition]