oh grad school. oh you.

I have leftover pizza in the fridge for dinner tonight [yay] , I slept a full 8 hours last night thanks to Tylenol PM [bows] , I will be attending an all day music fest tomorrow [fantastic] , I parked on campus for my 4th time in the past two weeks with no ticket [I am a god] , and I just received my take home test from advanced molecular bio [shit] . I'm thoroughly amused with the piquant directions, even though the questions are nothing short of a blood bath.

[This exam may contain trick questions designed specifically to lower the Gaussian curve. Read the question two times and then read it again to your cat to be certain that you (and your cat) understand what is asked for. Each year about 15% of the answers score zero because the person has re-interpreted the question and answered a different question than the one asked for. Remember--your TAs have been specifically trained to detect such deception.]

lets break this down:

This exam may contain trick questions designed specifically to lower the Gaussian curve.

Awesome. Thanks. Big relief, because I was pretty worried about breezing right through this test. I mean, its not like I can barely interpret your questions or anything. I'm sure your gratuitous riddles will be just like doing a sudoku to pass the time.

or, you know, how about *not* trying to fail us?

Read the question two times and then read it again to your cat to be certain that you (and your cat) understand what is asked for.

what will the people with no cat do!? WHAT WILL THEY DO!?!? lower the Gaussian curve is what they will do. Thank god I have a fantastically intelligent cat.

Each year about 15% of the answers score zero because the person has re-interpreted the question and answered a different question than the one asked for.

15% of your previous test takers were, apparently, not cat owners.

Remember--your TAs have been specifically trained to detect such deception.

What? wow, did you train them with little treats and a bell? Do they have cats? Are they trained too? Did you also train them to give me a dirty look that would kill the young and innocent when I come to your class late? (and aren't they used to this by now?) Isn't this turning into a lot of work JUST to make sure some people fail your test?

This is all, just mildly appreciated, sir. And furthermore, if it wasn't for your cheeky directions, I'd probably have already started on the test and not be blogging.