ive arrived

I report to you from the official scene of yuppie.

In a coffeeshop, in a corner - judging all other fellow coffee shop inhabitants, in a fucking pullover and yoga pants, drinking fiji water and sipping kenya aa coffee, with my macbook, blogging, while attempting to read my physiology textbook, listening to some yuppie indie shit on itunes, making plans to buy camp bisco tickets.

god im not even embarrassed.

I am however, a little embarrassed (maybe mortified) for this girls skirt/boots combo standing in front of me.

he giveth and taketh away, or something. or i just ate like 927 mgs of oxycodone.

losses:

1) insomnia
2) half of my medical bills (tthhaaannkks mom)
3) my crappy ass half working laptop
4) 1 foot of small bowel
5) a terrifying old abdominal incision

gains:

1) a prescription for ambien (zing!)
2) a $1600 charge to my credit card bill (see 3)
3) A 250 GIG HARDRIVE MACBOOK 2.4 GHZ WITH 2 GIGS OF MEMORY. (and some free printer/copier/scanner - something - its downstairs so fuzzy details)
4) a new lease on life
5) a really small neat abdominal incision that you can't fit 16 pencils, 5 pens, and 3 hot dogs in

reward: missing balls - made of steel

I'm terrified of the fact that its only going to be a high of 26 today. I am huddled in a ball wearing most of my pajama collection to stave off imminent hypothermia, sipping hot coffee, and close to tears at the thought of catching the 7:55 bus.

The punchline being that I just endured three winters in Massachusetts - where a high of 26 was considered warm - warm enough for me not to park illegally in front of the school that is. (Nothing was worse than traversing that mammoth parking lot with subzero temps.) I seem to have some vague recollection of biking as long as it was 30 out - and nonchalantly bitching about finding my scarf if it was going to be below the teens. And honestly, in Massachusetts - it stays this cold for a good 10 months out of the year or something ridiculous.

I guess I won't be wearing my standard of flip flops/tank top/ light hoodie today. I guess I'll have to rummage around to actually find something long sleeved, preferably with wool/thinsulate/goose down/maybe both cats - and accessorize by pasting those self heating hot hands all over my torso. I must have left my sack of steel up north when I moved - I am now. officially. lame. And also, I super love this otherwise warm NC weather.

free advice part 6 (i think)

If you received a sonicare toothbrush for christmas from your parents, and the following conditions hold true:

a) you don't like to clean your bathroom mirror on a daily basis
b) you find toothpaste spit in your hair unbecoming
c) you find toothpaste spit in your eyes to be even less appealing
d) brushing your teeth with more skill then a five year old is a barometer of your integrity

Then - I would suggest not turning the device on until it is planted safely inside your mouth, with your lips firmly closing your around the neck of the toothbrush, with all your might (white bloodless lips are almost essential at this point) and maintaining this stance for the duration of brushing, at all times. no kidding, all times. I mean - if you even think of parting your lips for the briefest of moments - prepare to splatter your bathroom vanity, mirror, yourself, the cat that terminally lives in your sink, your neighbor will wonder why snow is falling by their windows, and yes - it gets in your eyes. Also, your roommate will inevitably choose that time to walk by and witness your whirlwind toothpaste cat 5 hurricane, and might attempt to treat what she believes to be - an epileptic fit.

Only when your sonicare toothbrush has finished its 2 minute brushathon and has ceased its vibrating mayhem of savagery - should you very, very, carefully - remove this very phenomenal cleaning device from your mouth - rinse it lovingly - retire it to it's charging haven - fall to your knees - and pay homage to the most powerful piece of vibrating equipment you will ever own, that didn't come from a shop with barred windows.


p.s. I <3 my new sonicare.

posterpalooza

I could consider that whole, resolution business - but that would be admitting I don't love this lifestyle.

the new year thus far:

-left essential medication at home. begged mom to overnight it on tuesday, the 30th. it won't be here til tomorrow at the earliest, Monday, the 5th.

-procured a hangover worthy of matching my Halloween hangover. That is to say I spent most of the first day this year whining about being on the cusp of passing out/vomiting/mind blowing headache/dehydration/imminent death. Also, NYE was a blast and the hangover was totally worth it.

-thusly detagged about 173 pictures on facebook.

- after removing approximately 97 lbs. of trash from my car (consisting mostly of empty red bulls, v8 cans, diet pepsi max bottles) I found someone's car keys, still unclaimed (GM car keys anyone?). My car still looks and smells like an alley from a bad part of NYC.

-ate more cookies then I probably have in all of 2008 put together. I am really not being sarcastic on this one. dead serious.

-realized I scheduled a lab meeting for my previous rotation (that I failed to give during my rotation) on top of the first class on the first day of the semester, I am befuddled at my lack of blatant organizational skills. no, wait, I'm totally not.

- broke my bike. like, have to take it to the shop for repairs kind of broke my bike. After my big christmas present this year was my dad totally revamping and repairing my bike with all new parts.

- thought I killed my roommate's cat.

- reset my internal clock by going to bed after 3 am every single night/morning. Certainly this won't exacerbate already persistent insomnia.

-subsequently, I woke up at 1 pm today - drank a red bull at 3pm in preparation for a 2 hour bike ride (and of course made it 7 miles before I broke my pedal). Oh weird, I'm blogging at midnight and feel capable of running back to back marathons.

-So, yes, blogging. Instead of my original intention of reading papers for my rotation that starts tomorrow.

-that I said I would arrive for at 9am.

-but won't go until 10am because my P.I. said she wasn't getting in until 10:30 am.

-sigh.

-2009: perpetuation of picking up very avoidable messes, piecemeal, organization is for the birds.

-happy new year.