Tuesday, April 14, 2009

sike

So, literally on my way out of the hospital yesterday - finally on my way home, my biggest dream of all dreams as of late, adorned with bags and bags of miscellaneous crap one collects over a 3 week stay in the hospital, in my chair ready to be rolled to freedom, I notice heeeyyy---this stuff coming out of my drain looks like, well, uh....poop. man, must be one nasty abscess I'm draining. By the time I get home and *heroically* begin to unpack, after, of course, a 15 min love fest with the cats who don't rememeber me, there is def lots of suspicious gunk reeaaalllyy flowing out of my drain.

Chad comes over, and with little debate , I'm of course thrown back in the car, and of course whisked back to the effing ER, and of course we sat there for hours waiting for assesment. And of course, my suspicions are confirmed, yes, your intestine have now managaed *Brace Yourselves!* to tunnel a hole into your abscess and I am now draining intestinal contents into my abdominal cavity! God. I'm good. honestly. On the day of departure and everything! Treatment for said diagnosis? No eating (like literally none, I'll be getting IV nutrition) and I have to adorn an unhideable drain. Thats draining crap. Not too bad maybe? Maybe not, except that it takes at least a month to clear up - upwards of six months. Sooooooooo, yeah. fuck my life right now. I'm typing this from a new hospital bed, where I have a roommate, and they like to talk to me.

2 comments:

StephL said...

Jesus Christ, Lisa. Stop making shit up just so you can sleep all day. Seriously.

e$ said...

is the talking roommate a good thing or a bad thing? do i need to come over there and gag the chatty bitch?