25 years ago today I was expelled from my mother's uterus.
therefore, in celebration of my existance on this earth, (and thank your lucky stars, your life) this is what I want for my birthday:
1) biscuits and jelly
2) apple pie and ice cream
3) a maid
4) a frodo costume for halloween
5) the answers to Dale Ramsden's take home test
6) the answers to all my questions actually
7) a personal assistant (Erin, really, your name is written all over this one, I suggest you put your bid in early before someone else takes it)
8) new bike wheels
9) someone to image my slides so I don't have to go into lab today
10) an updated sirius radio
11) oh shit the sirius stiletto
12) sirius to be wired into my actual stereo and not transmitted through shitty fm
13) PBS and RPMI waiting for me in the cold room
14) a gym membership at the Y
15) recognition from all the people that I deem relevant in my life, that you are in fact, pleased to have me around, I would like this to be expressed in a monetary or material nature, I could settle for a hug, but a pair of sweet Bose headphones would really drive the message home.
Alright guys, there you have it, you have til midnight, i'd suggest you get cracking, esp for number 5 and 6, could be tricky.
I also recommend you talk amongst yourselves as to who is getting what so I'm not stuck returning double presents.
4 comments:
May be we can discuss the possibility of WISH no 5...;)
I already spent like, a shitload of money on a dickless genie. I don't know if you've ever priced them out, but they're not cheap.
I'd throw in an apple pie and ice cream if I thought it'd make it, but I have an idea that it, um, won't.
Happy Birthday, Lisa! You are still the best.
If your bike happened to be a 7-speed, I'd already have a sweet custom Dura-Ace / Mavic wheel set with your name on it. Too bad. I'll be on the lookout though... I assume it's a 9-speed cassette (700, 650, or 26" rim?)
Ms. Lisa,
Many thanks for your kind offer of employment. While I would very much enjoy being the steward of your laundry and dental health, my acceptance is contingent upon the continual availability of vodka at said place of work (Ketel One is preferred), reimbursement for relocation expenses, and receipt of a fetching cap to wear while driving.
I look forward to your reply,
EcA
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