phone follies and fun fixin's

My roommate recently got a new cell phone and also, got a new cell phone number. It took approximately 3.5 hours, 10 text messages, and 4 phone calls later for us to figure out that her number was previously occupied by one that goes by the name Laquisha.

After a week of Becky having to pay 15 cents every time someone wanted to know, what Laquisha be up to, is she straight chillin’ or rollin’ or some otherwise banal horseshit colloquialism, I convinced Becky to allow me to take matters into my own hands.

A few of my favorite responses were, “my anus is bleeding,” “it’s 6:30pm, do you know where your hymen is?” and other such nonsense straight cut those trippin’ foo’s off and now Becky’s phone remains ghetto free.

When I’m not raising the roof, I’m pretty useful I tell you.